Intense and emotionally perceptive. I pick up on unspoken words and speak the language of gesture. Deep, mysterious, and magnetically attractive. I yearn for emotional intimacy. If hurt, I really sting -- and I don't forgive easily
Sosyal Na Si Inday
April 8, 2008Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo?
Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?
Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
Amo: [nosebleed]
Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.
Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: [nosebleed ulit]
Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.
Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?
Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
Amo: [nosebleed na naman]
Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
Donya: [hinimatay]
Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal’s office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.
Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.
Inday: It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!
Principal: [nag resign]
Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.
Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: [nosebleed ulit]
Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.
Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]
Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si
Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.
Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?
Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they’ll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so.
Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]
Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.
Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.
Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday.
Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.
Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"
Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself"
Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.
Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you’ll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you’ve been wishing for to stay.
Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.
Amo: [nagpakamatay]
Deal Or No Deal (Fearturing Inday)
Nang sumali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal…
Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag
iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!
(umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao)
Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.
Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.
Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?
Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?
Kris: Oo naman. I’m sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.
Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.
Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh. Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…
Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we’re to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?
Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).
Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!
[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]
Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "LOWER" every time magbubukas ng case.
Inday: Kris, I guess that’s not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add "ER" to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to
open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?
[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]
Kris: Oo nga no! Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.
[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso… Palakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?
Inday: Case number 24 please.
Kris: Chloe… buksan na…
[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]
Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower"?
Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened?
Sheesh.
[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]
Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]
[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]
[nag-ring ang phone]
Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?
Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]
- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni
banker sa Deal or no Deal.
